On Melancholy Hill
by BabbleT
Summary: Castiel is far from perfect, and others would jump to second it. But...Jayne isn't either. Growing up is hard and scary, but maybe the two of them won't have to face it alone.
1. Chapter 1

**an: in case you were wondering, I've been working on this shitty fanfic for A Long Fucking Time. Re-edited, revamped, hopefully this doesn't suck. Will go through the rest of the chapters when I feel like it. **

* * *

**_Up on melancholy hill_**  
**_ There's a plastic tree_**  
**_ Are you here with me_**  
**_ Just looking out on the day_**  
**_ Of another dream_**

**_ Well you can't get what you want_**  
**_ But you can get me_**  
**_ So let's set out to sea, love,_**  
**_ 'Cause you are my medicine_**  
**_ When you're close to me_**

**_-Gorillaz_**

* * *

School has started by the time I finished puking my guts out on the side of the road. I thought somehow by leaving an hour early, that I would arrive on time, but I had completely forgotten that everything terrible likes to happen to me in any which way possible. Not only had I had to stop _twice_ to cry, but I also had to refill on gas. And then vomit because I'm an overemotional girl who really just hates life and school and everything.

No one was in the halls when I entered. At my old school, teachers would patrol the hallways looking for students to patronize (and in very few cases help), but here it was silent. It only furthered my bad mood as the sound of my flats tapped and echoed against the grimy tile floors. They were alone. I glanced down at the papers the school mailed me- a school map and a schedule. Never having been good at reading maps, the first paper only confused me, and without knowing where L23 was, my schedule wasn't much help either. _I don't even know where the office is! _

I started looking around frantically, feeling like I was going to puke again when someone rammed right into me, causing me to stumble and drop my papers on the ground. The other (tall) person didn't even glance behind to see if I was okay. My anxiety switched to anger. "Hey!" I shouted at his back. It was clad in leather and he looked like a dumbass even from behind. He still didn't turn around. "_Hey!" _I ran after him and grabbed his shoulder.

He spun on his heel with a glare and I almost peed myself with how scary he looked. He had the piercings. And the dyed hair. And the ripped jeans. "What?"

I immediately stepped back several steps. "You-uh, you bumped into me." _Wow he's tall and wow I'm short and wow he could beat me up with my own backpack. _

"So?"

"I…" I wasn't going to be able to get him to apologize. "Could you at least tell me where class L23 is?"

He gave me a funny look. "Why?"

I felt like I wanted to cry. He put in a set of earphones then proceeded to walk towards the door, flipping me off from behind. I kicked a wall in anguish.

After that whole ordeal I just decided that starting off on a fresh slate would be 500% better and went home to my empty apartment. I kicked off my shoes and threw them on the floor, then stripped out of my skinny jeans. I flopped on my couch like they did in the movies, but instead of falling into a comfy cushion my nose smacked into the hard armrest and started bleeding.

I stayed face planted on my couch until my phone buzzed, accepting that I was ruining the couch with my blood and that my life was awful. I blindly grabbed for my phone.

"Hello?"

"How was school Jayne? Did you make any friends?"

I sat up so fast my head spun and I had to clutch it to keep rooted to the ground. "Auntie. Hi." I could tell by her voice she wasn't too happy.

"The school called me," she continued without accepting my greeting. "they said you didn't show up today so I said that you weren't ready. What's wrong?"

I wiped at my face, trying to get the dried off blood to flake off. "I don't know. Everything I guess?" I signed and flopped back on my sofa. "I thought I could do this but it's a lot harder than I thought. It was so confusing too! And-and-"

"Jayne, sweetie, listen." I could hear her smacking bubblegum through the speaker, but I tried not to let it ruin the emotional mood she was trying to set. "Life sucks. High school sucks especially, but the good thing about high school is that it sucks a smaller amount of time than life, so just hang in there kid."

"Wow. Thanks for that very motivational speech."

"Just be a dear and lie to your parents and tell them you went to school today- I don't want them on my ass about it."

I hung up without replying, then proceeded to lay on the couch for several hours. When my parents finally called I smiled and laughed, hoping they would feel okay with how things were. It wasn't their fault after all.

* * *

I arrived two hours early the next day and had to sit outside until they unlocked the front door. Odd enough, it was a teenager around my age with a tie.

"Are you new here?" He had a friendly smile on, but my stomach still twisted.

"Yeah. How could you tell?"

"Really it was a rhetorical question, I looked at your file a week ago." His eyes widened and a blush spread across his nose and down his neck. "I mean, not in a creepy way. I'm the student body president, it's my job to oversee paperwork and help students."

I followed him through a door and after his gesture, continued to through a couple office doors. "I guess you weren't voted for because of your charisma?"

His smile dropped and he suddenly aged into a thirty year old businessman. "I'm incredible efficient and dedicated to my work."

"I-I was joking. It's cool, sorry." _Oh god Jayne, when will you learn that you're not funny? _

"Oh." He relaxed a little and placed a book bag on a desk. "Oh. Yeah. Anyways…" He turned around really fast, but I could still see a blush forming on the back of his neck. _Cute. _

He shuffled through papers as I looked around the room. There were typical motivational posters of figures looking out at sunsets, a picture of a kitten, and several college brochures.

"Hmmm…" He said.

"Hmmm…" I replied.

"It seems you weren't here yesterday. That will cause some complications, you may have to complete a few side quests before school starts."

My stomach dropped and I could feel myself start to sweat through my shirt and holy moly if I get pit stains on my first day _I will kill myself. _"Are you absolutely _sure?_ My aunt called yesterday about it…" He had a weird look on his face, a little scrunched up, like he was trying not to smile. _What ? _"Are you…kidding?"

He stopped with his weird face. "Uh yeah. Sorry, I forgot I wasn't that funny."

I forced a laugh and wiped my hands on the front of my jeans. "Yeah. Right." _Dammit. _

_"_Well, Jayne!" He flashed me a smile and started shuffling through a stack of papers. "Here's your schedule, and a map of the school, and your locker number and combination." I took all the papers from him and folded them in half. He stared at the paper, his eye twitching slightly. "Do you need someone to show you around? I could get-"

"_Yes!" _I nearly shouted, my mind flashing to the scary guy from the other day. "Yes. Please. It would help a lot and I would appreciate it. A lot."

"Oh, okay. Um," he glanced at his watch. "I guess we should go on and head out then. After you."

Touring the whole school didn't take too terribly long, so I ended up sitting in my first period class an hour early in the dark because I was too nervous to turn the lights on because in my stupid fuck mind I would get yelled at for it. I sat in the back, hoping to avoid student's stares, but as they slowly filed in they avoided sitting next to me. I took out my phone, trying to seem like I had important things to do and like I wasn't lonely. Which I totally was.

"That's my spot."

I froze in place, feeling my heart stop and my throat dry up. _Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh no. Why do I have the worst luck?_

I turned around so fast I heard my neck pop and almost choked up again. _It was that asshole from the other day!_

I could feel the eyes of my classmates on us, like they were expecting an actual literal fight to break out. "I'm sorry." I quickly hurried with my stuff and tried to shove my phone into my pocket, but it just ended up clattering onto the pavement beside me, dislocating it from its battery. I stared at it in horror.

"Any day now." Came his deep but increasingly annoying voice.

"Could you just hold on a sec?" I said between my teeth, dropping to my knees in an attempt to pick up my phone's pieces. _I hate life so much right now_.

His cool steel eyes stared me down silently. _Where's the damn back piece, it should-_

"Here." He kicked a piece of my phone over with his black boot. "Now leave."

"I uh..." I stared at him for a second. "Sorry?"

He rolled his eyes and fell into the seat I had just vacated. I took a few steps back and glanced around the room. There were literally no other spots left except for the one next to him. Wincing at my predicament, I slid into the seat next to him and tried to shrink into myself as best as possible.

He was still glaring at me and I could feel my palms begin to sweat. "Is there anything wrong?"

"You're still at my desk."

"Well." I cleared my throat a bit, which caused even more people to look over. _Dammitdammitdammit. _ "There aren't any other spots open, so I just thought…"

He glared again, but it didn't hold as much hate in it. "Whatever, just don't wake me up." And then he put his head on the desk and fell straight asleep.

I was amazed at the fact that he slept through the whole class. Even when Mrs. Art Teacher came and slammed a text book right next to his head on our desk, he didn't even move. She let him keep sleeping after that because she thought it was impressive.

Only when the bell rang did he lift his head.

"That was amazing." I smiled at him. "I wish I could do that."

He gave me a lazy glance and grunted. One side of his cheek was red and he looked dazed. "What class is this?"

"First."

Castiel groaned. "I hate life. I hate living."

I chuckled and stood, stretching my back a bit in the process. "I guess that makes two of us."

* * *

This was it, the most terrible part of not having friends in a new high school- eating lunch alone. There are so many anxieties that come with it; standing out and having people laugh at you, being afraid you sat in someone else's seat who just might beat you up over it and being alone with yourself for twenty whole minutes. I was sweating buckets.

"_Heeey."_ Someone sat their lunch tray next to me. "Would you look at that, Armin! A blue haired person sat at our table!"

I froze and looked up at the guy, but then (slightly) relaxed when I saw the easy and genuine smile on his face. He too happened to have blue hair. "Hello. Um, I can move if you want me-"

"Nope!" He took a seat next to me as a second tray was slammed down. This one belonged to a guy who looked very similar to the other, with the exception of coloring. He looked at me curiously but didn't say anything.

"I think it's fate. I'm Alexy, and you?"

"Jayne." I felt unsteady with his friendliness, like I had actually passed out and was living out a dream.

"Jayne! That's too cute, can I call you Jaynie?"

"Ah, no thanks." I placed the carrot I had been holding down on a napkin and folded my hands in my lap.

Alexy proceeded to take a large bite out of a large hamburger which left a large stain on his face. "So," his mouth was half-full of food and his words sounded weird. "You're new?"

I cast a glance back at the other guy, who was hunched over a PSP. "Yeah, today's my first day."

"Does it suck as much as you expected?" He was now chugging on a water bottle. I finally picked my carrot stuck back up and continued gnawing on it.

"So-so. All schools suck."

Alexy chuckle. "You should with us the rest of the year. Eating lunch with Armin is _so _boring. All he ever does is play his games or stuff his face with food. It's horrifying and savage and I don't understand how we're related one bit."

"Brothers?"

"Twins actually. Not identical or anything. I'm the handsome one and Armin's the straight one."

Armin looked up. "I'm also the one who has money. Speaking of which, you owe me thirty bucks." He sat his down . "What did I miss?"

"I have a new friend named Jayne, and you need to be her friend too."

He looked at her. Not in an impolite way or in a mean way, just a curious, wide-eyed look. "What's your favorite game?" Armin drawled out the question like he was being cautious.

"Oh." I tapped my nails on the table, thinking. "I could never really afford them, but I like Mario and the Sims."

He nodded, a small smile forming on his face.

_"Oh no no no. _You're not going to turn my new friend into a nerd! Get that out of your head right now."

"Ever heard of the Legend of Zelda, Jayne?"

* * *

The minute school was over I rushed out to my car, shoving people out of the way to get to it. As I was throwing my bag in the trunk of my car, however, I slammed the door on my hand and had to go back inside to the nurses office. I had to get bandages all over my hand, but in the end she gave me a handful of suckers and patted my head. I almost cried at her kindness, but sucked it up and went back home.

When I got home that afternoon I binged on ice cream and started singing really loudly to shitty pop music. It felt sort if like a type of downward spiral into the lonely old woman cliché but I was just so done with life I had to do something and nothing all at once.

My phone started going off right in the middle of my second scoop. I sat down the carton pouting slightly.

"Hello?"

"Hi sweetie."

I breathed a sigh of exhaustion as tears began to flood my eyes. Sudden the past two days seemed entirely too long and too lonely.

"Mom?"

"Um, hi! How are things? How are you feeling?"

"Fine fine fine. I should be asking _you_ that! Look at you, all grown up and living by yourself." In the background I could hear the beeping of machinery. I could tell it wasn't from the hospital, just the regular noises of Mom's treatment. I relaxed immediately. _She's fine and they're packing and on their way. _

"Yeah, I'm doing good. School's…school. I _did _make a friend though, maybe two. I haven't finished unpacking yet, but the fridge is well stocked."

She let out a chuckle. "Just make sure you're eating right, okay? I don't want-"

"Yeah yeah."

"Don't give me that sass!"

"_Yeah yeah." _I smothered my smile into a throw pillow. We were silent for a second and I focused on her breathing short and shallow, frequently accompanied by coughs. I hadn't realized it until recently, but the strange but common thing had become a comfort to me. I had missed it.

"I can't wait till you guys are here. It's so quiet here, I can barely think."

"You know," her fingernails tapped lightly against the phone. "People usually say the opposite."

"Well people are dumb. I miss you."

"I miss you too, Blueberry. I have to go now, but I love you."

"I love you too." I tried not to think about the small tears at the corned of my eye. " Tell Dad to wrap up his job faster!"

"I'll do what I can. Have a good day at school tomorrow!"

* * *

Armin and I were sitting together at a courtyard half an hour before school, Alexy MIA. Armin was ignoring me (probably not to be mean), playing a game.

"_Sooo."_ I leaned over his shoulder and glanced at his DS (Really, how many consoles did he have?) "What are you playing?"

"Pokemon. Ever heard of it?"

I rolled my eyes. "Just because I didn't play video games doesn't mean I live under a rock." I watched him mash buttons and battle for several minutes until someone tapped my shoulder.

"Alexy!" He was carrying a cup carrier with three coffees. My jaw dropped. "Did you-?"

"We're friends, and friends buy friends coffee. I didn't know what you liked though so I just got you a latte because it was basic." He handed it to me and I took it, close to tears. It didn't matter that I didn't like coffee- what mattered was that he had thought to include me.

"Oh jeez, are you crying?" His eyes were wide and he frantically tried to give me a hug with one arm and a heavy neon messenger bag at his side. It wasn't a very good hug, but it made me shed a few more tears. "Are you seeing this Armin? She's like a sensitive puppy! Bless." He ruffled my hair and let me go as Armin laughed. I rubbed my face with my free hand, ruining my foundation.

I sat back on the chilly stone bench and sipped on my drink, trying not to think about how jittery it was going to make me in an hour and instead focused on Alexy teasing Armin about video game characters. I let out a short laugh at as one of his jokes made Armin's whole face turn blotchy and red, and he started huffing and packing his stuff up to move away from his brother. It was a little hard to remember the last time my laughs weren't tinged with a bit of sadness.

* * *

It was twenty minutes into first period and our teacher was nowhere to be seen. My teeth dug into my bottom lip and my leg bounced furiously up and down, caffeine maximum overdrive in my body and with no distractions. Castiel dozed uselessly next to me, an actual puddle of drool accumulating under his mouth_. Attractive._

_"Class!_" The door banged open so hard that it ricocheted off the opposite wall that the ceiling panels shook. My teeth broke the skin of my lip in surprise and my mouth filled with blood. Castiel didn't stir.

"You would not believe the day I'm having." She paused, like she expected someone to ask her about her Very Important Life, but no one seemed to give a shit. "Anyways, as you kids know, the end of the school year is coming up soon- HEY, SHUT UP! It's not the end of the year yet, you hooligans!" She sighed and ran a hand through her frizzy brown hair. "Long story short, you guys need to a final, but since this is art, it's going to _be fun_ so I finally got done with the prompts for the final projects." Everyone groaned. "AND it's _a group project! _How fun is _that?_" The collective groan grew louder and I felt my heart grow heavy. The only person I knew in the class was Castiel, and he didn't seem…group friendly.

Slips of paper were passed out with the guidelines of them and I studied it in disbelief**. **_**Recreate your group member without using paper or plaster 3 **_

She was twenty minutes late printing _that_ out? _What did that even mean?_

Frantically, I turned to Castiel and started shaking his shoulder trying to get him to wake up. All I got was I grunt, so I started yanking on his hair.

He opened an eye to glare at me. "What?"

I offered him a smile which he didn't care to return. I let it drop quickly. "Group final project. I didn't know if you had anyone else you would work with, if you were going to participate."

He sat up and stretched. As he did, I narrowly missed being hit in the face by his arm. "Aw, you were concerned about me? What, do you have a crush on me?"

"Yes." I crumpled and unrumpled the paper, trying to get my energy out of my system. "Can you just tell me if you'll be my partner or not? I need to know if I need to mentally prepare to beg someone to be their buddy for the next month."

He shrugged. "I'm going to be honest with you; if it's a lot of effort I'm going to push it all off on you."

"And I'm going to push it off until last minute and we'll get a C on it." I quipped back, scratching in between my brows with an eraser_. Maybe I could make a portrait of him out of garbage. He seems like that type of guy. _I automatically felt bad and sat my pencil down.

"As long as I don't have to retake this dumbass class I'm fine."

I have him a small glance. "We _are _going to have to work together on this."

He stared back at me and gave me a lazy blink. "_Waaaaitt_. Were you that girl that fucked up her hand with her car yesterday?"

I tugged my sleeve lower over my still-bandaged hand. "Maybe."

"Haha what the fuck?" He didn't _really _laugh, he _actually _said '_Ha-ha'_. I frowned at him. "Shit. Maybe this will be fun, being partnered with you."

* * *

**an: leave a review/favorite and I'll either check out and review anything you've written or send you a nice message!**


	2. Chapter 2

**an: updated as of 10.13.16**

** thanks for sticking around and reading this piece of shit. **

* * *

When I woke up, my eyelids felt so heavy I just laid still for what felt like thirty minutes. And then the nausea hit me. I barely had enough time to roll off my bed before I puked on my floor, crouched on my knees. My legs and arms were shaking and I could feel myself start to sweat. _Guess there goes my chance for perfect attendance. _

I crawled over to my nightstand and sent Auntie a plea for help. She replied within the minute.

**[Sweetie…I'm on a business trip for the rest of the week :( Maybe you could just hang tight for a few days?]**

It took my eyes a few seconds to focus on the words on my phone. I groaned and smacked my head against the wood floors of my room when I could finally make sense of it.

**[Oh, yeah! I forgot to ask you if you could do a small errand for me while I'm gone…]**

I grumbled and tripped my way down my aunt's street, dressed in sweatpants and an oversized shirt from my old high school. I felt barely conscious and hardly alive_. Did I forget to mention to her that I was sick? Or did she just decide to ignore me for her own benefit_? Probably the latter.

Auntie's house was literally in my vision before I felt the too-familiar roll of my stomach and soon I was hunched over barfing my guts out.

I put my hands on my knees and tried to slow my breathing. Then I was tackled to the ground.

I let out and involuntary scream before I realized it wasn't an angry person, just an overly excited dog. A very big, mean looking dog with…

"What the hell are you doing here?"

…Castiel as an owner.

I continued to lay on the ground, too winded and tired to shove the dog off of me. He happily licked my face, leaving slobber all over me. I looked at Castiel, who looked the most surprised I had ever seen him. "Do you live here?"

"Uh, yeah? Why are you puking in my yard?" He grabbed the dog by the collar and hauled him off me with quite a bit of effort. He was soon distracted by my vomit and happily started eating it. Castiel quickly helped me up.

"I think that's a little self explanatory." I straightened my clothes, trying to seem not as awful. "I'm sick."

He took a step back. "…Yeeahh."

I rolled my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair, which was starting to get stuck to my neck from either my sweating or the light mist in the air. _I'm such a mess. _"My aunt lives close by. She called me and asked if I could give her fish some medicine…his eye is like, popping out of his face or something. It's weird. So anyways, I didn't want to pass out in my car so I walked."

"She's not that chick next door who wears costumes year long, right? The one with the pink hair?" I didn't respond and instead opted for scratching Castiel's dog's ears. The teen snorted. "I guess that's makes sense."

"I'm going to chose to ignore that." I met his eyes. They were grey with almost dark blue flecks in them. A lot prettier than what I remembered. I rubbed his dogs ear harder and he let out a moan and thumped his foot on the ground.

Castiel broke eye contact with me and pulled on the leash. "I need to go walk Demon."

I cracked a smile and peered at the smiling, drooling dog next to me. "Demon? _Really?" _I let go of him and wiped my slobbery hands on my jeans.

"Yeah. Something wrong with it?" He was scowling (when wasn't he?) and dragging Demon away by the leash.

"No, it's just…cute." He didn't reply, but I saw his head shake before I turned towards my aunt's house.

It wasn't until I reached her front door and started rooting around in my ten dollar purse that I realized I had no way of getting inside. I stared at the door blankly, trying to process what was going on. A sharp throb resonated through my skull and I had to sit down on her porch when I started feeling nauseous again. Then it started raining again.

_"What. _Are you kidding me?" I pulled up my hood, but it was no use. I was soaked. I hobbled to a rather large tree on the front lawn, looking for at least a fraction of cover from the onslaught of rain. "I hate my life." I laid down on the grass and closed my eyes. _Might as well wait out the weather…_

I woke up with dog giving me wet kisses everywhere and an angry red boy glaring at me halfheartedly. "Wha-whas goin' on?"

"You've been sleeping on your aunt's lawn for about half an hour. Should I be concerned?"

"Probably." Everything was spinning. _Yeah. Something's probably really wrong. _"Can you drive me home?"

"Um." He lightly pulled on Demon's leash, but he promptly sat on my lower body and rested his head on top of mine, covering me like a blanket. "I don't have a car. Should I call someone..?"

"Yes. Call an ambulance. Even better- a hearse." I stretched out and swallowed back the urge to vomit. "You know what? Burry me right here. I'm happy and I've accomplished most of my goals."

"Stop being over dramatic. You're not funny."

I looked over at him and he was awkwardly staring at his shoes and kicking up mud. "You're cute when you're awkward ya know. You should get your head out of your ass more often."

"Oh my god." He was blushing now, which was especially cute. A punk guy with piercings and dressed in all black with a red flush running across his cheeks was something I was definitely going to add to my mental scrapbook. "Are your parents home?"

I flopped my head on the ground a little too hard and too suddenly and everything went black for a second. My vision came back and I was still struggling to think of a response. "They're home…probably…but not at my apartment? Does that help?"

He stared at me blankly. "You're really fucked up. And of course I'm the person who has to help you. Jesus…" He pulled out a phone and managed to dial a number with an attitude. "Yeah, I know you're in class but there's a sick person on my neighbor's lawn…Yeah it's her…Yeah she's still laying there!...Fuck. Geez. Okay, okay. Got it."

I stared at him with my cheek smushed against the ground. He looked very stressed.

Demon was finally yanked off of me and Castiel pushed the sleeves of his hoodie up to his elbows. "Can you walk? I'm going to let you stay at my place until school lets out."

I tried to open my mouth to reply, but everything went fuzzy and I fell back asleep.

* * *

I woke up on a nice leather couch with a soft blanket tucked around me. I pressed my fists to my eyes, testing how bad I still felt. When I didn't immediately pass out, I sat up slowly.

There was a guy with white hair sitting in an armchair across from me, reading a book. I stared at him, puzzled, until he looked up and smiled. "Ah, you're up."

"Um." I looked around, trying to figure out what the heck was going on. "_Um-"_ I started freaking out when I didn't recognize any of my surroundings. Did I die? Was this…white-haired teenager dressed in weird clothes like…God or an angel?

"Sorry, you're probably confused." He set down his book with a smile as I nodded. "I'm Castiel's friend, Lysander. You were pretty sick so I thought it was best to wait to drive you home. I'm assuming you live alone?''

I nodded again. I felt mute- I was so overwhelmed and disoriented and just wanted to go back to sleep.

"I thought it would be best if you had someone looking after you, you seemed pretty sick. Are you feeling better?"

"Y-Yeah. I should probably leave now."

He gave me another kind smile which made me want to cry. "I'll go find Castiel and then I'll drive you home."

"That's not really necessary-"

"I'm going to drive you home; it's the right thing to do." I shut my mouth automatically. He was still smiling, but had a very stern air to him that seemed to say _let me be nice to you, you little shit. _He walked off after that, looking for his less nice friend.

Castiel arrived shortly after, looking irritated as ever but this time with a bowl of popcorn and wearing polka dot socks. "The freeloader is up. Have a nice coma?"

"I could have died and all I get is sass? I'm hurt." I threw back the blanket and stood up, wobbling a bit as I did so. The boys watched cautiously, but didn't move. "I think I'm ready to go whenever you are."

We all piled into Lysander's old car that smelled like Christmas candles with Castiel in the passenger's seat and me in the back. Lysander handed me his jacket, his eye's crinkling at the corners.

"So you don't get cold. My heater doesn't work." Castiel snorted like the butthole he was.

Once I gave him the address I laid my head on the window and tried to gather my thoughts. _This is weird right? I'm in my first month of my new school and I've just taken a nap at the house of a guy who I barely know. _I discreetly tried to sniff myself and winced. _Definitely need a shower. _

When they pulled in to the parking area for my apartment complex I shot up and unbuckled my seat belt as fast as I possibly could. "Thank you guys for everything. I'll see you at school. Bye." I left before either of them could answer.

As I was walking up the stairs out of my peripheral vision I could see the car still sitting there, making sure I got to my door safely. I smiled softly and slammed the door shut.

* * *

**an: so yeah, my offer still stands for a 'review mine and I'll send you a nice message and/or check out your stories". I did most of this well into midnight because my insomnia was being a dingus so hopefully it isn't too bad. Tell me if there are any errors that stick out and I'll keep that in mind for future chapters. Thanks :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**an: updated as of 10.13.16**

**thanks for reading!**

* * *

When my alarm clock went off the next morning I turned it off. When my other three alarms played I just let them be and continued to float in a cocoon of warmth and soft sheets, making out with my favorite character in skimpy clothes and then-

_Oh shit._

It was really easy to forget about school on days like these.

I rushed around my room nearly thirty minutes behind. "Okay okay." I tried pepping myself up, ripping off my sleep shorts. "Pants and hoodie. That's all. You're gonna make it." I caught sight of myself in the reflection of a mirror and cringed. My skin was pale, under my eyes nearly blue from exhaustion (or sickness). My eyes looked hazy and my curls were sticking up everywhere. I briefly considered putting on makeup but shook my head. _Who are trying to impress, anyways? It's just school._

Then there was traffic. _Thank the stars I have such good luck._ I clutched my steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white. I considered banging my head against it, but then realized that probably wouldn't turn out so well for me. Instead, I settled on cranking up my radio a bit and tapping my fingernails against the wheel until they hurt.

After I _finally_ pulled into the school's parking lot, I jumped out and checked my phone.

"Three minutes. I can maybe make it."

I ran all the way to class, dodging both students and teachers and sweating profusely.

"You look like shit today." Castiel muttered as soon as I slid into my chair next to the mass of black clothes and bad attitude. "Although, I guess it isn't as bad as yesterday…"

The bell rang and seemed to take all my energy with it, leaving behind a dull ache in the back of my skull. I laid my head down on the cool desk and sighed. "Please be quiet. It would be much appreciated."

He obliged for a split second. "What are you wearing?"

I cracked my eyelid open a bit to stare at him. I couldn't really make out what he was thinking. "Sorry for not dressing for the runway today, I didn't realize it mattered that much to you."

Castiel rolled his eyes as the teacher started taking role. I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep because I cared very little for education.

"You're not as funny as you think you are." Castiel elbowed me in the side a bit harshly. I grunted a bit as his limb dug into my ribs.

My stomach rolled at the sudden motion and I groaned. "Stop you're going to make me puke." I tried to

edge away from him.

He stopped almost immediately.

Smiling to myself, I closed my eyes and drifted off into a weird, half-asleep state of mind. It could have been a part of a weird fever dream of mine, but I thought I felt a warm touch for a brief second on my back right before I felt another wave of nausea.

* * *

"Oh wow. Did you die yesterday?" Armin flung his backpack on the desk next to my face.

I grumbled and rubbed my eyes. "Yeah. I think I might still be in hell."

He rolled his eyes and edged over towards me. "I hear we're going to the kitchen today to do partner work. You know what that means?"

I grimaced. "No sleeping?"

"Well…yeah. But also that you're joining us and my group might actually not burn anything today!"

"Group?"

"Well, really it's just me and Rosalya- no one wanted to be with us because we can't really…cook."

"Oh…and I'm in your group for sure? Like…I can't switch out?"

"Hey!" Armin looked genuinely hurt and I felt a little bad.

"I'm kidding!" I gave him a small pat on his head.

A bag suddenly slammed between the two of us, making us jump up from our mid-morning slouched positions. "Are you talking shit about me behind my back, Armin?"

The girl was tall, beautiful, and smelled like the inside of Bath and Bodyworks. I stared at her bored expression like I was staring at actual art- with confusion and awe. She returned my confused look and glanced back at Armin. "Is she sick?"

"No! Sorry, I've just only been hanging out with guys recently and…" I popped my fingers anxiously. "I haven't actually talked to another girl in forever. Sorry."

I could feel my face burning as she let out a small laugh. "You're so cute! Come on, lets get going." She grabbed my arm and dragged me down the hallway into a type of kitchen. I had expected something nice and elaborate, with a lot of countertop space and high end tools. It wasn't. I mean it wasn't bad; it was just…not good. Sad. With everything beige and appliances from the 90s.

"So…you can cook, right?" Rosalya and Armin both stared me down.

I groaned and tied my hair into a somewhat stable ponytail. "It depends on what we're making. I'm pretty good if I have a recipe to follow-" I stopped when I noticed their blank faces. "Please tell me you have something in mind at least."

Armin shrugged. "No one wanted us because we couldn't cook and we were unreliable. Sorry."

"There's some leftover ingredients left in the pantry by other students, maybe you could find something in there?" Rosa added hopefully.

I leaned against the counter with my cheek in my hand, trying to think straight. All the other groups were busy running around, baking or frying or cutting. Armin got out his Gameboy. I turned to Rosa. "Can you show me the pantry?"

She nodded and lead me across the room. I opened it and glanced around. _Not much._

"Hey, is your last name James?"

I nodded and grabbed a box of brownie mix and cooking spray. "Why?"

"So you're the girl the boys looked after last night! Lysander told me all about it."

"Yeah, it wasn't my best moment." I started heading back to Armin with her in tote- he hadn't moved from his original spot.

She _'hmm'd._ "So which one do you like? I can see Lysander, but personally I'd rather put him on a key chain than in my vagina. Castiel is just an asshole, get out of that while you can-"

"It wasn't like that." I avoided her gaze and I could literally envision how red my face was. _Why was she so scary?_

"I mean, unless you're into girls. I know some really cute single girls" Armin looked up, mildly amused at my embarrassment. He gave me a smirk and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"No! I'm not…interested. In anyone right now."

Armin interrupted with a forced laugh and wrapped an arm around the blonde's shoulder. Her eyes automatically narrowed. "That's Rosa for you. She doesn't really have any personal boundaries._ Anyways-_"

"Are you kids cooking over there?" Chef shouted at us, his bushy eyebrows lowered in irritation.

"Of course, Chef, what else would we be doing?" Rosalya fluttered her eyelashes at him and picked the gamer's arm off of her. The teacher grunted, but walked off to yell at another student. "Don't touch me again with your sweaty little palms, got it?"

* * *

I bit into a warm brownie and leaned back in my seat with my eyes closed, feeling immensely better. Castiel wasn't in art class today to sass me around and the teacher sleeping. _Maybe this day isn't all bad…_

Glancing up at the whiteboard next to me, I almost dropped my brownie. _16 days until your project is due!_ was written in orange marker with little squiggles around it.

I sighed and finished my bite. I mean, we still had over two weeks, right? It's not that close to being due…

_Yeah but Cas isn't going to want to do jack squat._

I got out my phone with a grunt. _[Where are you?]_ I texted him, then sat it back down and resumed eating my brownie.

A couple minutes later it vibrated. **[Home.]**

_[Well we need to work on our art project so start figuring something out.]_

**[ Ugh. ]**

He was so long-winded.

_[I'll be over after school. I'll bring you brownies to compensate for everything.]_

**[Brownies? Where'd you get those?]**

I smiled faintly at his interest and hid my phone under the table as the teacher looked up. _[I made them. Is that such a hard concept to imagine?]_

**[ You have a violent nature, I wouldn't be surprised if you were trying to poison me. ]**

I frowned and shoved my phone back in my bag. Why did I even want to be his partner in the first place?

* * *

I didn't have time to register it the other day, but Castiel's house looked like a train wreck. The grass hadn't been cut in a while, the flowerbeds were unmanaged and the door needed a new layer of paint. It looked like it had been abandoned for several years. The odd part was that the neighborhood was nice. Kids ran around on the street after school, the houses and backyards were huge, and it was even located near a park. The contrast seemed sad.

The door was unlocked, so I just let myself in after a couple knocks, armed with my container of brownies and box of craft supplies. He was in the foyer when I entered. "Want one?"

"Yes." He said with almost an angry tone and yanked them from my grasp. "Follow me and take off your shoes in the shoe room."

Once I had properly stored my shoes (Who has a shoe room? No one that's who), Castiel sat me down at his kitchen table. I stared at him as he took a seat in front of me.

"What? Do you want something?" His face was starting to get smug and annoying.

"This is a nice house."

"Yeah. And?"

"I meant just kind of…I don't know, I expected you to live with a motorcycle gang above a bar." I set my chin on my palm.

Castiel leaned back in his chair, teetering dangerously on two legs. "Haven't you ever heard that stereotyping is bad?"

I shrugged and rested my socked feet against the table legs.

"This is my parent's house. They're usually gone on business trips so I tell everyone that the place is mine. Happy?"

"I guess. Why not get an apartment though?" I looked around the kitchen. It was big, probably big enough for a family of seven. "It has to get lonely here sometime."

It was Castiel who shrugged this time. "I have Demon, it's not that bad. Besides," a smirk flared to life on his face. "I'm a big boy, I can handle it."

My face lit up. "Where is Demon? Can I pet him?"

"He's in the backyard. Don't we have a project to do or something?"

I smoothed my hand against the table surface. "Yes. We need to come up with an idea first of all."

He stared at me for a couple seconds, and I, not quite sure what else to do, stared back.

"What?"

"Well, what's the idea?"

"I just said we have to come up with one! _We_ not _me_!" I crossed my arms a bit. "I don't know how I'm going to this project when you're so…_mean_!"

"Oh shit." He rolled his eyes. "You're bringing out the big guns. Mean? Really? Are you in middle school?" The legs of his chair smacked against the ground so hard I jumped at the noise. "If you want a new partner, feel free to find one."

I scowled at him. "This isn't getting us anywhere. Just…tell me about yourself."

"Well I would describe myself as tall, dark, and mysterious-"

"Be serious for five seconds here, Cas!"

He crumpled his face at me and stuck his tongue out like a kid. I stuck mine right back at him.

"Okay so…" I took out a pen and a notepad from my backpack and jotted down a few words. "No paper or plaster. We can use fabric, tile, paint, plastic, metal…" I groaned and ruffled my hair. "What even counts as art? Could I just make a PowerPoint about you and call it quits?"

"You're asking the wrong person here." When I looked up he stuffed a whole brownie into his mouth. I threw my pen down.

"My aunt knows how to make quilts. Once she gets back I'll ask her if we can make like a mini quilt of our life or something. It shouldn't be that hard, right?" I sat back, smug at my amazingly adequate idea.

With a shrug he stood up and kicked his chair in. "I mean I still have to put forth effort, if that's what you're asking."

"It's not."

"Then sure, whatever. At least we kind of know what we're doing." He crossed his arms and started walking out of the kitchen. Unsure of what else to do, I trailed behind like a little animal.

"You know, your apathy is going to get annoying really fast."

He glared at me out of the corner of his eye but I tried to ignore it. _We have a project to work on, you can't be smarting off constantly with him._

"I was thinking something like this." I started trying to sketch out a general outline of my idea- squares with various objects in them that were somehow important to me. It didn't look pretty. "Or something. You know." I sat down on the floor in front of the paper and glared at the picture. "Can you draw?"

He shrugged with his arms crossed. "I mean, probably better than you, but-"

"Hey!"

Castiel grabbed the pencil from me and sat down next to me on the hardwood cross-legged, then shoved me out of his way. "Move."

I watched as he gently held the pencil and lightly started erasing and fixing my mess.

"Well…" I stared once he was done. "It's not _that_ bad, I guess…"

He scratched the back of his head furiously and threw his pencil on the ground. "You know what? Screw this. How the hell are we suppose to finish this if none of us can fucking draw?"

I screwed up my face and looked at our ugly-ass outline. "Oh my gosh. It's done. I'm out of ideas." I flopped on the ground with a grunt. "I can't do this. I'm a procrastinator at heart _I can't do this_." My eyes slid towards Cas, who was fishing around in his back pocket for something.

"Then don't." He put a cigarette in his mouth and looked at me, his eyes looking dull and tired.

I grunted and hoisted myself up. "You're a terrible influence. I like you. Do you want to watch TV or something?"

* * *

Castiel had every TV station, including a several instant video subscriptions, which was _amazing_.

"You're too over-privileged. No one should have access to so much TV." I stretched, scrolling through various shows, trying to figure out how to waste another thirty minutes.

"Do you want a coke or something?" Cas was folded in an armchair across from me, scrolling on his phone casually.

"No…" I glanced at the clock on his wall with a sigh. "I have to get home and not do homework."

He looked over his black phone in faux disbelief. "You come here, insult me multiple times, leave without even offering to buy me a pizza, and then lie to me about doing homework?"

"Uh." I clutched my arms to myself, not really sure how to answer. "Yes?"

"You're just as rude as everyone says, Jayne." He shook his head and stretched his legs in front of him. Today he was wearing socks with little skull patterns on them.

_It's not like you really have any plans…_I sighed, the air blowing a strand of my hair out of my face. "Fine. What do you like?"

One large pepperoni pizza later and the two of us were sprawled out in his living room watching Pulp Fiction.

"Hey." Castiel spoke, his voice breaking the silence. "You never told me why you live alone. Do your parents hate you too?"

I squinted to try to see his face in the darkness. His eyes were still trained to the screen. "I didn't think you cared."

"I don't, I just thought it was a 'I show you mine, you show me yours' situation." He turned to face me, his arms crossing over his chest. "I have to know some dirt on you too."

"Or you're just curious." I smiled at his face, which had a smirk on it. "My parents wanted to move down to be with my aunt. She's really my only family left and my mom's sick so…it was like a comfort thing or something. They were _planning_ on coming down with me, but there were complications with my mom's condition and my dad's job transfer. Hopefully they'll only be a little longer."

After a moments pause he replied. "That sucks."

I shrugged, even though he probably wasn't looking. "My whole life has been a bunch of complications. I'm sort of used to it by now."

We watched the rest of the movie in silence. I was curled up in the same soft blanket from the day before, my hair still pulled back from earlier that day. I rubbed it against my face and inhaled its scent. It smelled like lemons and wood. When I looked up, Castiel was staring at me. In the dark of the room, the colors from the screen reflected against his skin like he was some type of piece of art. I looked away sharply, burying my face in the blanket to hide my blush even though I knew he couldn't see it.

* * *

My home was dark and still when I got back later that evening. I'd been living in the apartment for almost a month and yet I still felt weird being alone in it. It wasn't that I was scared, or even particularly homesick, it was more of an… emptiness that I felt that always seemed to rot a hole in my stomach and make me want to crawl underneath my blankets and take a ten month nap.

Shrugging off my backpack, I tried to force off the feeling of hollowness and made some tea. Tea always helped.

That just ended up with me staring blankly into space while crying over tea and a granola bar.

_I don't even know what's wrong._ I wiped my eyes angrily and poured the rest of my drink down the kitchen drain. _Why are emotions so stupid?_

* * *

**an: yay I love writing about depression. **


	4. Chapter 4

**an: updated as of 10.13.16 **

* * *

It was my firm belief that Armin was now my best friend because we had literally no one else. We were both socially inadept . While everyone else was busy with their own friends, we were left to ourselves.

I was perfectly okay with it. Armin was like this perfect mixture of nerdy and nice, but also tended to be lazy as fuck, which meant he never had last night's homework to copy. That was probably the reason why I was so surprised he had decided to stay after school and play with water guns in the empty hallways.

"Where did you find these, anyways?" I laughed as he handed me a fully loaded gun. They were nice too- not the ones that cost fifty cents at the convenience store. These were three dollars tops, and he had a whole box of them.

"Well I was looking for a place to hide during gym class.…"

"Yeah…."

"And I found an old shack full of sports equipment…."

I let out another laugh at his dramatic pauses. He was waltzing around the hall like a complete moron. "…go on…."

"And I just found them sitting there! Amazing right?" He had the dumbest grin on his face and it made me do the grossest snort I've done in my life.

"Nerd."

"Whatever. I'm like…your only friend, so jokes on you."

I shook my head and grabbed another water gun. "I'm going to run across the building so we have to hunt each other down."

He had a manic grin across his face. "Oo. Like hide and seek to the _max. _I gotcha. First one with squeaky shoes loses?"

I nodded. "And you're sure there aren't people just…roaming in the halls?"

"Pretty sure." He didn't sound confident but I was too committed to creating a fun memory so I took off down the hall, trying to get as far away from him as possible.

Then I was on the floor literally a minute later, my nose pressed against the tile and a sharp pain in my leg. "What. The heck." I moved to sit up slowly and examined my leg. There was a four inch tear running down my jeans and a shallow cut on my calf. "Oh my god. _Seriously."_

The sound of footsteps came from behind me but instead of Armin, the class president stood in the middle of the hallway with his eyes wide and oddly enough, Castiel behind him. "What is going on here?"

"Hi. I tripped."

Nathaniel looked absolutely confused. "…How? There's literally nothing for you to trip on in the halls!"

Castiel snorted from behind him. Nathaniel sent him a glare and looked back at me. "And what happened to your leg?"

I stood up and stared at my ripped jeans more carefully. "I think I bumped into one of those old lockers. The one with the bent door. Sorry, I was…in a hurry."

He looked like he was about to unleash a storm of hellfire on me when Castiel stepped in between us. "Well, if we're done here I think it's safe to say that Jayne needs to get her leg looked at. I'll be on my way." He quickly grabbed my arm and started speed-walking towards the exit with me in tote. I heard a little bit of protest from Nathaniel, but when I turned back around I couldn't see him.

We pushed through the exit doors together and walked side-by-side on the sidewalk. I bumped into his arm playfully.

"What were you doing with him after school? Boyfriend stuff?"

"Pffft. I hate that guy." He pulled out a box of cigarettes and stared at them. After a second he put them back in his pocket. "He was just lecturing me on boring stuff. '_Go to class more often, you're going to be a failure, also I macked with your ex.'" _He dropped his air quotes with a sigh. "Man. Fuck him. It's like he's trying to be important and involve himself in my life because it's his job when actually, it's none of his fucking business." He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye with a smile. Not a smirk-a genuine smile. "Anyways, what were you doing running around after school?"

I have him my best smile back. "Playing games. Running amuck and being an all around hooligan. I actually left my friend back there, he's probably still trying to find me."

"You're really dumb, you know that?" He stopped in his tracks and I had to turn around to face him. "Act like a normal teenager. You get into such dumb shit it's crazy, it's like you look for trouble to get into."

"You seem like you're always in trouble too." My hands were on my hips and I felt my sass grow to the max. "I just have bad luck is all."

When I glanced back down at my leg, I had dried blood covering the cut I just got. Castiel had followed my gaze and let out a sigh. "Do you need a ride home or something?"

I shook my head. "I'll be fine. I drove here."

"Alright then." He looked around briefly, them focused on me again. "Later."

"Yeah." He had shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and started walking off. Just like that. _So awkward. _

Shaking my head, I pulled out my phone to text Armin.

_[you little shit]_

* * *

"Wake up Jayne! We're leaving in an hour!"

I jolted up suddenly at the sound of my aunt's voice. "Leaving?"

"Yeah, for our shopping spree. Don't you remember? _To welcome me back home~?_"

I fell back against my bed and groaned. I had pushed it to the back of my mind in favor of anything else.

"I put some PopTarts in the toaster for you!" Agatha called from the hallway. The toaster popped and she screamed they were done.

I didn't move from my bed. "Could you make me coffee?" I tried to call out to her, but it came out as a small whimper. I groaned and crawled out my room wrapped in my blanket, tripping over random crap on my floor. "Hey. Please make coffee please." I asked once sitting on the floor of my living room.

Aunt Agatha had her hands on her hips. "Aren't you a little bossy for someone who won't even take care of her own apartment..."

"What does that even mean? I can make it if you really want…"

She rolled her blue-green eyes. "That's not what I meant. This place is a wreck, you need to start doing chores."

I stood up slowly and left my blanket in a crumpled mess on the floor. "I just moved in, of course it looks bad."

A plate with two chocolate PopTarts was shoved at me once I entered the kitchen. "All I hear are excuses, missy…"

If it were anyone else, I would have thought I was in actual trouble, but it was hard to take Agatha seriously when she was wearing a purple French Maid costume and I knew her house was equally as messy as mine.

"So where exactly are we going today anyways?" I yawned in between bites of breakfast.

Auntie smiled and pulled out a list. "First we're going to an antique store, then clothes shopping, then shoe shopping, then we'll eat!"

"Yay." I said in a monotone voice, still too tired to function properly.

As soon as my aunt's bonding day was over I called Castiel.

"I'm not spending my weekend working on that damn project."

I pouted. "That's how you greet me? After all we've been through?"

"Sorry." I could hear barking on the other side of the line. "Hello. I fucking hate school and don't want to waste my weekend doing it. Happy?"

"What if I cook you food?" I blurted, trying really hard to stay motivated.

He paused. "I'm listening."

"Um, let's see." I ran over to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of cook books, bringing them back to my bedroom to look through. "Macaroni and cheese?"

"Boring."

"Vegetable soup?"

"Try again."

"Shepherds pie?"

"Hm. I guess if you want to see me _that _badly…"

I scoffed. "You know I do."

I pumped my fist in the air and rolled off my bed onto the floor. I managed to kick a few bras under the furniture and put all the clean dishes away, but after about ten minutes of cleaning I just gave up. I was flipping through TV channels when Castiel knocked.

He stood in the doorway looking a little…appalled. "Should I keep my shoes on in case of rats or throw them wherever?"

"There aren't any rats." I said as I showed him to the kitchen. He kept his shoes on.

"That's not what I meant." He sat down at a chair that didn't have crap piled in it. "What I meant was your place is a fucking wreck."

I frowned and moved some stuff off the kitchen table straight onto the floor so we had a work space. "Why does everyone like reminding me of that fact?"

"Because I feel like it's a health hazard. I don't want to catch an incurable disease because you can't pick up your shit." He sat down a notebook in front of him. He looked kind of nice today. His hair was a bit damp and he was wearing a plain black shirt and jeans but something about him seemed…happier. I mean, despite the fact that he was glaring over my trashy house.

"Does that have the list of stuff that's important to you?"

He nodded a flipped to a page. On it was scrawled:

**Demon**

**Music**

**Food**

I stared at the paper for a few beats, trying to think it over. "This. Is how you would describe yourself? Three words?"

He shrugged. "How would you describe me?"

I ran a hand through my hair and closed the notebook gently. "Im still trying to figure that out." I shook my head and pulled out a stack of construction paper. "First step of creating a quilt is making a pattern. I would suggest coming up with _at least _three more items so your quilt will be bigger."

"Fine." He got out a pen and wrote a few more things on the paper. I grabbed it once he was done.

"Horror movies, basketball and guitar." I tried thinking of what I could do going off that.

"You didn't give me your list yet."

I grabbed mine (crumpled, with various stains on it) and tossed it to him. "There you go."

He looked it over and put it to the side. "First step?"

"Right! Pattern." I got out a couple black markers and pulled out a piece of construction paper. "Okay so with sewing you need a pattern, or a guideline to follow. We're going to draw patterns of our interests to go in the middle of the little sections of our quilts!"

He laughed. "I feel like a grandma. What am I supposed to do with this once I get it back?"

"Keep it, it'll remind you of all the fun times you had with me." I said duly. "An example," I moved on and drew a rough outline of a dog's head. I cut it out and showed it to him.

He took it and stared at it unimpressed. "This looks bad."

I could feel my face heat up. "_It's not done yet! _It'll look better, eventually. Maybe." I set it down and divided my paper pile in half, giving him the rest. "At least try. My aunt is going to help us with the harder stuff; she loves quilting." I glanced at the clock and got up, heading for the fridge. "I'm hungry so I'm going to start cooking."

I heard him shuffling behind me. "No offense, but looking at your house now I'm not sure if I trust you enough to eat anything out of it."

"How can I not take that offensively? Besides," I shoved a couple dirty dishes into the dishwasher. "My house isn't _dirty, _it's just _untidy."_

"Just try not give me some type of food borne illness." And then he was at my side, his hot breath at my ear. I leapt to the side and almost tripped over a flipped over laundry basket. He watched me, almost like he was smug.

I kicked the basket out of the kitchen area and turned to glare at him. "Why don't you focus on the project, asshole."

Cas held up his hands in mock surrender, his head thrown back and eyes closed. "Oh no! The middle schooler's using potty words! I better do as she says!"

I don't think I've ever wanted to slap someone as much as I did at that time. I exhaled slowly and turned back around towards the counter and started chopping onions.

* * *

Castiel left around eight at night, claiming that I was boring and he had better things to do than schoolwork. That left me, alone once again in my small, cluttered, and now badly lit apartment. We were only about…fourteen percent done, but at least it was something.

I had just started shoving art shit into the cardboard box so I could eat ice cream at my table without inhaling the nasty-ass fumes of gorilla glue when I saw his leather jacket hanging from the chair he had been sitting. I just sort of stared at it at first, registering it's presence. I picked it up and folded it, putting it on the table, resting next to our drawings we had cut out.

He'll notice it's gone eventually and ask me for it. I won't bother him with it tonight.

I nodded to myself and started heading back towards my bedroom.

* * *

**an: if you can't tell at this point, I suck at endings. Also, I would just like to mention that Jayne's bad luck is based on experiences either that I or my friend have been through because both of us are wrecks and I really wanted to write The Dark Side of the Klutzy personality trait because it is not as cute as people think. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**an: updated 10.14.16**

* * *

Armin was stuffing his face with potato chips when he greeted me at the door. "Alexy's making me go shopping after school tomorrow. He says I only have three nice shirts and I'm an embarrassment to him."

I looked down at his brightly colored anime shirt and decided to keep my mouth closed.

Armin let me inside and led me to the living room where Alexy was reclining on their magenta sofa. The blue-haired boy gave me a half-hearted wave and continued to look at his phone. I flopped next to him, Armin in the armchair next to me.

"By the way_, Armin."_ I took the stole away from him and sat them on on the table next to the couch. "That reminds me of the fact that _you left me to get in trouble Friday." _

Alexy '_oooo'_ed and his brother glared back at him. "Hey, listen." He was so serious he didn't even try to grab his chips again. "I didn't know there was anyone in the building, so technically it's on both of us and not just me."

I picked up one of his mother's beaded pillows and smacked him in the face with it. "You're a terrible person. _Castiel _had to save me from _the school body president_."

His hair was sticking up everywhere. He smoothed it down his hand and squinted his blue eyes at me. "Castiel? Walker? And _Nathaniel?" _

"Yeah and I bet you feel like a jack weed for leading me astray now."

Armin waved it off and smirked. "So did you guys hook up or something afterwards? Or maybe you guys did drugs in the bathroom together?"

What?! No!" My face was turning red and I couldn't help but feel a little gross at hearing the accusation. I scrunched my nose in irritation. "He helped me evade trouble. And then yesterday we worked on an art project. And then he left."

Alexy propped his arm on my shoulder and grinned. "Candy said he's a sex machine. Maybe you're his new target."

He wiggled his eyebrows at me. I stuck my tongue out at him. I felt a weird pang go through me, like I was going to get sick. "Are Candy and him…close?"

Alexy let out a short laugh. "You don't need to worry about her, Jaynie."

"Please do not call me that." I grimaced.

He held up a hand, interrupting me and sniffed the air. "Mom's making cookies. Chocolate chip." And then he bolted from his seat and into the kitchen.

I sighed and glanced over at Armin who was on his DS. "What are we doing today, captain?"

"I figured we'd start basic." He grabbed a white remote from the coffee table and held it up for me to see.

I rolled my eyes. "I know what that is, it's a Wii controller. I wasn't born yesterday."

His hands were clasped together like some type of cartoon villain. "Good, good. Then this will be rather harmless. Alexy! Insert the disc!" An awkward second passed by before he dropped his smile. "Right…he's in the kitchen…."

I laughed at his face as he jumped up from the leather chair and set up the TV.

The _Just Dance _logo was flashing on the screen just as Alexy came back in with a plate of cookies. "Nice. The first one has the best songs."

Armin glared at his slightly older brother. "Keep dreaming. The second one has _Toxic _in it."

I watched with amusement as the two argued over the game. Armin threw me a remote, almost smacking me in the face with it. I caught it and shot him a glare. He was too busy denying that it wasn't a cover and no, _Womanizer _was _not _better than _Toxic. _I groaned,stood up, and started stretching my limbs. My back popped in a way that made me freeze momentarily.

Armin stopped in the middle of his retort to eye me. "You okay over there?"

I gave him a thumbs up. "Are you guys done yet? I'm ready to unleash my inner dancing queen." I continued on to crack my knuckles. They obeyed my command and crackled. The twins shared a disgusted look.

"Anyways…" Alexy grabbed his remote and flipped through the multiple songs.

"What are you planning on doing over the break, shorty? You're not going back to your hometown, are you?"

"Probably for a while. Why?" I stood up to start the game.

Armin's attention was on the screen, but I could tell he looked amused. "Summer break's coming up in like a month."

I '_hmm'_ed and flung my arm up, trying to follow the little digital person's movements. "oh. I guess since…" Armin and I narrowly missed hitting each other and I sort of stumbled to the side to get out of the way. "…since I came here late I wasn't really thinking about it. A month? Really?"

The blue-haired delivered a final, winning blow and threw his hands into the air. He threw a smug grin at Armin before turning back to me. "I'm guessing that you also don't know about the end of the year field trip either?"

I shrugged and grabbed a cookie. A melted chocolate chip smeared on my chin, but I didn't bother to wipe it off. "Is it to a museum or some other lame-ass thing like that?"

Armin cackled and sat down in the armchair next to the couch, the new leather squeaking under him. "Well well. It seems she doesn't know, Alexy."

"I'm not fulfilling your fantasy of being a Bond villain, Armin. Sorry." He turned towards me. "It's apparently this type of…forest adventure thing slash race slash scavenger hunt. My stupid brother has already decided to opt out of it, so you're joining my team in his place!"

This sort of intrigued me. I would much rather go out and do something rather than look at old artifacts then write an article on it for the remainder of the school day. "Who all is on your team?"

Alexa's lips scrunched to the side in thought. "Let's see…really just a few people. Candy and her girlfriend, Rosalya…and just a couple others I think. Rosa and I are even designing matching t-shirts!"

I smiled at him and inwardly patting myself on the back. _There you go Jayne! Despite your klutziness and the fact that you've barely texted anyone, you're making friends and finding a group! _

I jumped up and did a fist pump into the air, temporarily forgetting that I still had the white Wii remote in my hand. It spun out of my hand and crashed into one of Vitoria's potted plants. It shattered to the ground, leaving broken bits of pottery and dirty on her lord-knows-how-expensive Persian rug.

Armin sputtered out a laugh so hard spit flew from his mouth. I, on the other hand, felt all the blood drain from my face.

Alexy rolled off the couch with a grin. "I'll get the vacuum. Jayne, you should probably pick up the pieces."

I nodded guilty and headed towards the mess. Armin was still laughing on the couch hysterically.

* * *

I was driving home when my dad called.

"Hey! I was just about to call you!" I smiled and turned on my blinker. It fell fast though, when I heard the sounds of sniffling and the familiar beeps of a hospital. "-Dad?"

"Listen, I know that it's been rough with everything that's been going on…."

My heart dropped and I felt the lump expanding into a rock. "What's going on Dad?"

"Your mother…she's in the hospital again."

I choked a bit into the speaker and had to reach my second hand to steady the phone. "What?" My voice was hardly above a whisper. I looked around the road, desperately trying to find a place to pull over because everything was blurring together and I couldn't see. I ended up on the side of the road, my hands shaking as I pulled the keys out of the ignition.

"I wanted to tell you." His voice sounded so weak, so far away.

I covered my face with a hand. _They're so far away. _Tears started to bead at the corners at my eyes. _What if something happens?_

"Honey I'm sure everything will be fine though. She…she's strong, like you. Soon we'll be all together in a house with one of those telescopes you've always wanted and we'll have oatmeal and orange juice every morning." It seemed like he was trying to reassure himself. A sniff came from him and he cleared his deep voice. "She can't talk right now, but…I'll give her your love okay? I have to go fill out some more paperwork but I'll check up on you later, okay? Okay Jayne?"

I moved my hand away from my mouth and took a deep breath, trying to get it together. "I understand. I…I love you both so much. So so much."

"I'll see you next weekend, okay sweetie?"

"Yeah." I hung up fast so he couldn't hear the sobs that threatened to claw its way up my throat. When the line went dead I threw the phone in the backseat and banged my head against the wheel, trying to keep myself quiet.

_She was supposed to get better_. I ran my hands through my hair, not sure what else to do with them. I pulled the dark blue strands almost to the point where my scalp was hurting. Tears were falling down my face and my heart was beating in my chest so hard, in my ears and pounding my head. I bit my fist to try to keep from screaming and alerting people driving by. _She was supposed to make it! That's why I agreed to leave because she was okay! _

Days spent in the hospital's armchairs popped into my head. Mom's soft hazel eyes creasing with a smile despite her too pale skin and the bags under her eyes. Holidays and birthdays spent on a white cot, surrounded by the smell of antiseptics and tubes in her nose and throat. She was always so happy. _What if I never see her again? What if…_

She didn't have a long life expectancy, I _knew _that, I had known that since I was little, but the idea that she could die, actually, literally die without me being there for her left me in shambles. _She's always been there, what do I do without her? _

I didn't go to school the next day. I stayed in my bed, three blankets on top of me even though the weather was getting warmer.

It was about two in the afternoon when I left my room and started searching for something to eat. I settled on the couch with a bowl of cereal, feeling drained. My eyes flickered subconsciously to Castiel's jacket which still sat on the table. I sat my food down on the coffee table and inched over to the kitchen, then the jacket was in my hand and my face was buried in it.

It smelled clean, but held trace scents of smoke and some type of spice. I sat it back down, feeling suddenly like I was prying too much.

A sudden bout of anger filled me. _Smelling a stupid cute boys coat isn't going to help anything! Mom's still going to die and I'm just…wasting away! _I was breathing erratically, my eyes not able to settle on one thing. I needed to do something. I needed to _break _something.

I found the nearest glass object and sent it flying towards a wall. The plate smashed into the plaster and made a pleasing shattering noise before scattering across all the shit still on the floor. My hands itched for something else as I grabbed a dirty mug from the sink and hurled it at the floor by my feet. Shards of white glass covered the cold, black tile. I felt a piece cut into the flesh of my right foot and glanced at it absentmindedly. A trail of blood streaked down it and dripped onto the floor.

And that was how Castiel found me; in my pajamas with my curling hair in a disarray, blood seeping from beneath me and glass littering the floor. I could have been crying, but my face had been rubbed raw so I didn't notice if I was.

He stared at me, his grey eyes widening in shock. "Um-"

"You're supposed to knock." My voice came out like I was choking.

He had a smirk on his face, but I could tell from his eyes it was strained_. He probably thinks I'm crazy…_. "It was open. I came to get my coat."

I almost laughed. _Now _he wants them? "You should be in school." It seemed I couldn't form sentences that well anymore.

"So should you, young lady." He gave me smirk that made me kind of want to kick him out. Or run into his arms. The feeling stopped a second later when he glanced down at my foot. "We should probably clean that up, it could get infected."

I glanced down at my foot again, which was still spilling blood. I hadn't thought it was _that _big of a gash, but…

I nodded and carefully walked over towards him. He grabbed the upper part of my left arm and led me over to the chairs that we had sat together at just a few days ago and pushed me to sit down. He looked irritated, and my arm felt like it was burning where he had put his hand against my bare flesh. "Do you have a first-aid kit somewhere?"

I nodded and cleared my throat. "It's in the bathroom under the sink…"

Cas walked out before I had even finished my sentence and came back with the clear box. I tried to read his facial expressions, but stopped when he looked at me with a glare.

He sat himself on the floor in front of me with his feet on the ground and legs bent. I felt my heart speed up slightly at how close he was.

Tweezers poked at the wound as Castiel's cement eyes studied my foot intently as he picked out a few slivers of glass and inspected my other one for any damage. He nodded to himself when he saw there was none and worked on disinfecting the one cut and bandaging it. I watched him work, quietly. Once he was done he put my foot back on the floor and looked at me. I gave him a small smile.

Castiel looked away and started picking up the broken shards off the floor. "Dammit Jayne. If I knew you wanted to break glassware I would have brought you to my house." His cheeks looked a little flushed.

"I still want to, if you're up for it."

He looked back up at me, a smile spreading across his face.

Castiel had everything prepared and planned. Demon was locked in a different room, tarps were laid across the floor and I had goggles and rubber gloves.

"Is this really necessary?" I asked, adjusting the goggles so they weren't digging into the flesh of my face.

"Yes." The red-head came back with several stacks of fine china. _Very _fine china. "I don't want to clean you up again." He rubbed his chin once the dinning ware was sat down. "I should ask your aunt about getting a payment considering how much I babysit you."

I ignored his jab and pulled at the giant rubber gloves on my hands. "Are these really necessary? Why aren't you wearing anything?"

"I don't want to have to fix you up again." His lips were pursed in a tight line.

Raising an eyebrow at him, I pulled off a yellow glove and dropped it on the floor. "I won't wear it if you don't."

He stared at me for a second before strolling out of the room muttering under his breath. The redhead returned equipped with the same ugly gloves and goggles as me. I grinned at how ridiculous he looked. He glowered at me.

The next few hours were spent smashing plates and making fun of each other's music tastes until we finally agreed on something both of us liked.

Once my arms started to hurt, I stopped and sat on on the couch, watching Castiel who continued to break the china with a determined look on his face. I watched him for a couple minutes, until he was on the last plate. "You have family problems, don't you?"

He turned around and rolled his eyes at me. It didn't look as intimidating with clunky safety goggles on. "What makes you say that, ironing board?"

I waved my arms around as if to say '_this whole entire situation screams dysfunctional'. _

Castiel stripped out of his safety gear and threw in on the coffee table. "We're teenager, I'm sure all of us have family problems in some way. It's not like a mind blowing discovery."

I looked at my socked feet, feeling stupid. "Sorry, I sometimes don't really think before I speak-"

"That's funny, I didn't think you thought at all."

When I looked up, Castiel had an actual smile on his face. I gave him a more hesitant smile back, but then dropped it when I caught sight of the clock on the wall. It was past five. "I need to get going, Aunt Agatha's coming over for dinner tonight."

He shrugged and looked away. "See you around, I guess."

I quickly gathered my shoes and jammed my feet into them, only looking up when Castiel cleared his throat. He was leaning against the door than led to the living room. "It's raining now."

I glanced out a window and nodded. "Guess we've been at it for a while. Better get going before it gets any worse." I gave him a weak smile, but he shook his head.

"Just- god you're dumb." I squinted at him in confusion. He was blushing again.

Castiel ran back into the living room and came back with his jacket. He threw it at me almost thoughtlessly and I barely had time to catch it before it hit me in the face. "So you don't get wet and get sick again."

"Cas-"

"Don't worry about it. I just don't want to look after you again if you get sick." His crimson hair was ruffled from the safety goggles he had taken off just minutes earlier. He motioned towards the door and turned around. "You can leave now."

I stared at him for a split second before I felt my body warm up considerably. I turned and went out the front door so he didn't have a chance to see my stupid red face. I put on his coat once I was outside, carefully, like I was in a dream. _Since when is Castiel so considerate? _I flipped the hood up, smiling to myself as I did so.

When I got back to my apartment my nose was slightly bleeding and my eyes were puffy from the stupid late-spring pollen floating in the air, but I felt happy. A small thrill went through me as I closed my door and got my phone out to text Armin. _Maybe things are going to turn around._

* * *

**an: I'm trying to up the chemistry between Jayne and...basically everyone. Please review/favorite/follow, it motivates me and I appreciate each one!**


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